Product Review #1: Bac'Un Bits, Parmela Cheese Sub, Kool Ranch Kale Chips

Frontier Natural Products Co-op Bac'Uns Vegetarian Bits (Vegan, Kosher)

As my friend Alison and I would say in delight: "Peegs in sheet! Peegs in sheet!"(Apparently 99% of all New Yorkers think everyone who grew up in Iowa had a pig as a pet. But I digress...)These little crunchy crumblers are delicious - SJM and I have been mad pouring them on our "too hot to cook" salads like pork starved olde tyme miner 49-ers. The great thing about these pork-less bacons is you don't have to worry you are eating human flesh by proxy (Yes, I take "Deadwood VERY seriously), or eating some poor, little Iowa farm girl's one and only piggie friend. I will be keeping my fridge stocked with these babies!

http://www.frontiercoop.com/

Parmela - Grated Parmesan Cheese Replacer


If it smells like Parmesan, and it tastes like Parmesan - it must be...raw nuts, fermented soybeans, nutritional yeast, soy sauce and lactic acid! Okay, it doesn't look like dairy Parmesan - however, it is by far the best cheese replacer I have ever tried. Excellent in pesto or atop pasta - especially good to serve omnis who are terrified of "fake" cheese.

http://parmelafoods.com/Home.html

Rhythm SuperFoods - Kale Chips - Kool Ranch

My journalistic integrity (I don't have any) may have been compromised with this product. I sort of turn into a twine-ball- making-Depression-era grandma in regards to Kale chips. "Why would you buy them when you can make them fresh yourself?"  However, since they were on sale I bought a bag to try. I hated them and may have likened them to looking and tasting like ear wax. To be fair, I called in SJM for a second opinion. He thought they were "okay". He then looked at the package and said: "You don't like ranch.". Oh, yeah. I hate ranch flavor, although I do not think these tasted particularly like ranch flavor. SJM and I both agreed that these chips leave a slightly unpleasant coating in your mouth best described by SJM as: "How your mouth feels after eating French's onion pieces". I described it as "a lardy after-taste". SJM also said he wished they weren't such teeny-tiny crumbs. (The package may have gotten smashed in my bag.)  Like your granny, I still think my homemade are better (SJM agrees).

http://rhythmsuperfoods.elsstore.com/

Vegan On The Road: TC: Jasmine 26

Where: Jasmine 26
http://jasmine26.net/

What We Ordered:  
Appetizers: Sea Salt and Pepper Tofu Cubes (below left), Spring Rolls with Mock Duck (below right)
Entree: Lemongrass Noodle Salad with Mock Duck (above & second below)

Notes: Our meal at Jasmine 26 was my personal favorite dinner we enjoyed in Minneapolis. This was no doubt fueled by the day spent dehydrated and hungry in a dive of a pinball/pool hall where I easily lost $20 on the Twilight Zone pinball game. Being able to wash our hands in the clean restrooms at Jasmine 26 seemed like the height of luxury! Despite the look of my atrocious low-light stealth attempt at i-phone photos; the food was bright, fresh and delicious with many vegan options. Yet again, we gorged ourselves on mock duck and it was succulent!

Below - pre-dinner pinball photos: African-American Santa Yeti??? and "Gorbie" (clearly NOT based on Mikhail Gorbachev - allegedly) are two of your fares in the pinball game "Taxi". Look at that shining neon beacon of a pinball sign! Glorious!
 

Vegan On The Road: TC: Fasika Ethiopian Restaurant

Where: Fasika Ethiopian Restaurant
http://www.fasika.com/


What I Ordered: Veg Sampler - Atkilt (curried vegetable stew with carrots, potatoes, cabbage, pepper, onion); Gomen (greens cooked in the Ethiopian style); Kik Alicha Wat (curry spiced split peas); Misir Key Wot (lentils cooked in Berbere sauce); Misir Alicha (lentils cooked in curry + spices); Shiro Wat (spiced chickpea flour cooked in berbere), Fosolia (green beans & carrots cooked in curry + spices). Served with Injera (a flat, spongy bread that resembles a crepe or a pancake. Injera is made of Tef, Ethiopian staple grain or wheat and barley.)


Notes: This was my first time eating authentic Ethiopian food (my one previous experience involved a shady restaurant that may or may not have been a front for drug dealings. Allegedly.) At the suggestion of friends, I ordered the veg sampler to get a taste of all the amazing vegan options - everything was mouth wateringly good. As you can see from my pathetic photo - I was so busy shoving food in my bean hole I didn't even bother to get a "before" food pron image of the plate. My favorite was the Atkilt - Irish girls and their root veggies, amiright? My Southern friends raved about the Gomen (greens) which I have never developed a taste for (totally regional - Midwesterners as a general rule don't make greens) however, I did enjoy a few bites and felt very sophisticated. By all accounts - n00bs and seasoned pros the meal was top notch!


Since I pulled a boner on the food photo op, here are some cute animal photos from the Como Park Zoo and Conservatory (http://www.comozooconservatory.org/)! After reviewing the images, "cute" may be the wrong word - odd and amputated looking is more apt. Enjoy!:

You're in the 'sack!

Welcome to FEEDSACK!

Yes, it is another food blog. If you hate food and fun and hilarity stop reading right now.

Oh, did I mention it is a vegan food blog. Have you punched my image in the face? With love? Please continue...


I forced myself on pain of death to write five goals/aims/statements for my blog. Also, maybe the following will convince you that I serve up pure comedy gold, eat more than twigs and dirt and am not a judgy-wudgy bear.


1. Make and share edible, if not outright delicious, vegan dishes accompanied by witty text and food pron photos.
2. Experiment with new (to me) ingredients, recipes and eateries then review them in a hilarious way. Did I mention I am not a comedy writer? Hilarious!
3. Encourage mingling between humans and apes... wait... what? I mean, encourage all of the peoples who are interested to try vegan food. If they want to - nobody is holding a gun to your head here except R.Kelly and that is completely unrelated. Unless you are allergic to cherries.
4. Offer entertaining ideas, recipes and moral support for vegan hosting. If I can get my dad (who eats hamburger for EVERY MEAL) to attend (and claim to enjoy) vegan holidays then I am basically an all-powerful magician. Trust, y'all - it can be done.
5. Post slightly erotic photos of me and my hot friends eating food thus garnering a wide food fetish base and millions in advertising.

If the spirit moves you, I'd admire you to leave nice comments, ask questions politely and compliment me freely. Rudeness will not be tolerated under any circumstances.